Wow! Got home from school, stopped off to buy some chinese food, and had a lunch "date" with my lovely wife of 7+ years. Supposed to be my day to clean, but...well...I don' wanna! I am waaaay behind on homework, so gotta get my nose to the grindstone here and get caught up. I'm just about done with my last High-School level algebra course. Yay! Finally get to take a college level math class. Sheesh!
I wish I'd have done some higher level math when I was in high school, but noooooo! I had to graduate early. Yeah, I was gonna go to college. That lasted all of one day back then, long story I won't go into. Suffice it to say I've spent the last almost 30 years doing labor intensive work. Earning a living with my back, instead of my brain. No more! I'm gonna get that BA in Mechanical Engineering, and that's the way it's gonna be (The good Lord willin' an' the creek don't rise)!
So, I'm outta here, just gonna go hit the books. Maybe drink a brewskie or two. Hmmm, that's what I need. BEER to clear out the old, weak, sickly brain cells. That way only the good strong smart ones will survive. YEAH!!
Friday, November 16, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
y'ever wondered?
I was thinking, have you ever wondered...
I heard that if your dog is feeling down, you should take him for a walk, since it will release endorphins (they have them too!), which makes them feel good. So, does that mean that water-dwelling mammals, when they're feeling good, their brains release endolphins?
What are the REAL differences between men and women? I'll tell you:
A.) The way we wash dishes.
A woman will: Wash the dish in the sink, then put it in the dishwasher, then if it's not clean, scrub it by hand with a scratchy-pad, then rinse & dry it, and put it away.
A man will: Put the dish in the dishWASHER. That's why we bought the stupid thing, and that's why they make them. To WASH DISHES!! If it doesn't get clean the first time, we dump more soap in, and run it through again. If it's still not clean, throw it away and buy a new one. Better yet, eat everything off of paper plates, because it's not only gonna save you money on hot water and electricity, it's like camping! Score!
B.) The way we pee. Yes, I said it. Someones been needing to say this for years, and I'm just the guy to do it. Women go in, sit down, do their business, and never touch the seat one way or the other. Men go in, lift the seat, do our business, then (most of the time) walk out. I, myself, in the interest of STAYING MARRIED, always put the lid down. No, really, ask my wife. However, for those guys that leave the seat up and irritate their wives, let me say this about that: You always hear the argument go this way, or a version of this way:
Woman: "You left the seat up again! Why can't you just put it down? You pick it up, you should put it down!"
Man: "I need it up, I lift it. You need it down, you put it down. It's a compromise."
Woman: "But in the middle of the night, I go in, and it's dark, and I fall in."
And right there, ladies, is where you lose the argument. Now, before you all start sending me hate mail or little "treats" you find in the kitty litter box, let me reiterate, that I do believe all men should make an effort to put the lid down. Your hand is right there when you flush (and please tell me you flush), so it's really not that hard to put the lid down. Then again, if the game's on, or dinner is ready, or something else important comes up, we do sometimes tend to forget. Thus the lid up in the middle of the night, and wives with wet butts. BUT, sometimes men have to have the lid down in the middle of the night too. Know what we do? We LOOK first before sitting down! Novel idea, huh? Know why we do it? Because somebody might have left the stupid thing up, that's why!
So there you go on THAT particular aspect of peeing. There is more, however. Women never, and I mean NEVER think as they're driving by a tall bridge or tower, "Hmmm, I think I need to pee off of that!" Never!
Guys, on the other hand, always think that. Maybe not consciously, but in the back of his mind he's thinking of peeing off of it. There are two reasons, excluding the obvious "because we can" that men think of doing this. And I say THINK of doing it. I'm not in any way condoning such action, just saying we think it. Two reasons, here they are:
We want to see if we can still be peeing when the stream hits.
We want to see if we can finish peeing before the stream hits.
And, we brag about it. If we're driving by said bridge, corn silo, or tower of any sort, with another guy, we'll nudge him with our elbow, and say, "see that corn silo? Pee'd off'n it! Still goin' when it hit!"
If women were so inclined to urinate off of tall structures, they most certainly would NOT brag to one another. Can you imagine overhearing two women talking and one of them saying, "You know Margret, I peed off a bridge yesterday! I was able to finsh before it hit! Isn't that amazing? It was so refreshing to just let 'er fly! Wow!" No. You'll never hear that. No way. For one thing, the desire just isn't there and for another thing...the logisitcs are all wrong. They'd stand a good chance of falling off the structure (remember, their backs would be to the edge), and landing in it! Nope, never gonna happen.
And there you have it, a few things I was thinking about on the way home today, and wondered if any of you fine folks have ever wondered about them. So...have ya?
I heard that if your dog is feeling down, you should take him for a walk, since it will release endorphins (they have them too!), which makes them feel good. So, does that mean that water-dwelling mammals, when they're feeling good, their brains release endolphins?
What are the REAL differences between men and women? I'll tell you:
A.) The way we wash dishes.
A woman will: Wash the dish in the sink, then put it in the dishwasher, then if it's not clean, scrub it by hand with a scratchy-pad, then rinse & dry it, and put it away.
A man will: Put the dish in the dishWASHER. That's why we bought the stupid thing, and that's why they make them. To WASH DISHES!! If it doesn't get clean the first time, we dump more soap in, and run it through again. If it's still not clean, throw it away and buy a new one. Better yet, eat everything off of paper plates, because it's not only gonna save you money on hot water and electricity, it's like camping! Score!
B.) The way we pee. Yes, I said it. Someones been needing to say this for years, and I'm just the guy to do it. Women go in, sit down, do their business, and never touch the seat one way or the other. Men go in, lift the seat, do our business, then (most of the time) walk out. I, myself, in the interest of STAYING MARRIED, always put the lid down. No, really, ask my wife. However, for those guys that leave the seat up and irritate their wives, let me say this about that: You always hear the argument go this way, or a version of this way:
Woman: "You left the seat up again! Why can't you just put it down? You pick it up, you should put it down!"
Man: "I need it up, I lift it. You need it down, you put it down. It's a compromise."
Woman: "But in the middle of the night, I go in, and it's dark, and I fall in."
And right there, ladies, is where you lose the argument. Now, before you all start sending me hate mail or little "treats" you find in the kitty litter box, let me reiterate, that I do believe all men should make an effort to put the lid down. Your hand is right there when you flush (and please tell me you flush), so it's really not that hard to put the lid down. Then again, if the game's on, or dinner is ready, or something else important comes up, we do sometimes tend to forget. Thus the lid up in the middle of the night, and wives with wet butts. BUT, sometimes men have to have the lid down in the middle of the night too. Know what we do? We LOOK first before sitting down! Novel idea, huh? Know why we do it? Because somebody might have left the stupid thing up, that's why!
So there you go on THAT particular aspect of peeing. There is more, however. Women never, and I mean NEVER think as they're driving by a tall bridge or tower, "Hmmm, I think I need to pee off of that!" Never!
Guys, on the other hand, always think that. Maybe not consciously, but in the back of his mind he's thinking of peeing off of it. There are two reasons, excluding the obvious "because we can" that men think of doing this. And I say THINK of doing it. I'm not in any way condoning such action, just saying we think it. Two reasons, here they are:
We want to see if we can still be peeing when the stream hits.
We want to see if we can finish peeing before the stream hits.
And, we brag about it. If we're driving by said bridge, corn silo, or tower of any sort, with another guy, we'll nudge him with our elbow, and say, "see that corn silo? Pee'd off'n it! Still goin' when it hit!"
If women were so inclined to urinate off of tall structures, they most certainly would NOT brag to one another. Can you imagine overhearing two women talking and one of them saying, "You know Margret, I peed off a bridge yesterday! I was able to finsh before it hit! Isn't that amazing? It was so refreshing to just let 'er fly! Wow!" No. You'll never hear that. No way. For one thing, the desire just isn't there and for another thing...the logisitcs are all wrong. They'd stand a good chance of falling off the structure (remember, their backs would be to the edge), and landing in it! Nope, never gonna happen.
And there you have it, a few things I was thinking about on the way home today, and wondered if any of you fine folks have ever wondered about them. So...have ya?
Friday, October 5, 2007
I'm so Jealous!!
Yes, I'm green with envy right now, and I'm not too ashamed to admit it. I'm eaten up with it. Leahy, a great musical group from Canada is going to be in my hometown of Redding, CA on the 26th of January, and I can't go. My li'l bro and sis can go, a bunch of friends of mine can go, but my wife and I can't go. I'm jealous.
Never heard of 'em you say? Well! You should remedy that right away, lemme tells ya.
Leahy, an Irish Canadian group, a family actually, all learn to play the fiddle when they are around 2 years old. That's right! 2, I said! I was still wearing diapers at 2 for cryin' out loud. If I'd have been given a fiddle at 2, I probably would have hit the family dog with it! Until Fred came along, then I'd have found a new target, but that's another story.
Anyhoo, yes, it's Friday, I'm cleaning, but I just took a break, sheesh! Get off my back about it, willya?
Go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A83ILAKjtQQ and check 'em out. Oh, and their website is: http://www.leahymusic.com/
They. Are. Awesome. Really, you should give 'em a listen.
P.S. Had a big math test today (shudder). I think I did okay. How the heck am I gonna get through Physics? Oooooh, I got a headache thinkin' about it.
Never heard of 'em you say? Well! You should remedy that right away, lemme tells ya.
Leahy, an Irish Canadian group, a family actually, all learn to play the fiddle when they are around 2 years old. That's right! 2, I said! I was still wearing diapers at 2 for cryin' out loud. If I'd have been given a fiddle at 2, I probably would have hit the family dog with it! Until Fred came along, then I'd have found a new target, but that's another story.
Anyhoo, yes, it's Friday, I'm cleaning, but I just took a break, sheesh! Get off my back about it, willya?
Go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A83ILAKjtQQ and check 'em out. Oh, and their website is: http://www.leahymusic.com/
They. Are. Awesome. Really, you should give 'em a listen.
P.S. Had a big math test today (shudder). I think I did okay. How the heck am I gonna get through Physics? Oooooh, I got a headache thinkin' about it.
Friday, September 28, 2007
I'm actually cleaning right now...
Yeah, that's right...CLEANING! You got a problem with that? Alright, then. Glad we cleared that up.
I really am, too. I have some soapy stuff in the toilet, soaking the ring off, so it counts as me cleaning. We have really hard water here, so every week, it's scrub, scrub, scrub. I use a pumice stone on the ring in the toilet. Gloves, too, of course. And you should see the shower doors! Oy-vey! No, not the really-easy-to-hide-water-spots-opaque kind. Nooooooo, they had to put in crystal-clear glass. Thanks. We've tried everything on the market, even orange G00p hand cleaner (which, yes, makes the water bead up nicely, but didn't remove any water spots). Best thing we've come up with is mixing 1 qt. of lemon scented ammonia, 1 cup vinegar, and 1/4 cup Dawn dishwashing detergent. Mix it up, pour it in a good spray bottle, squirt it on a dry shower door, and let it soak for about 20 minutes. Then, use a scrubby sponge with some Bar Keepers Friend cleanser on it, and scrub like crazy. Last step, take off all your clothes, take a shower, and while you're at it, rinse off the doors real good. If you want to add another step, go over it once with Windex after all that, and it stays pretty clean for...oh...about a week! I squeegee every day, too! Oh, the suffering of a kept husband. Yes, I'm a HouseHusband. My wife brings home the bacon, as it were. It doesn't make me less of a man!
I guess that's what I get for volunteering to "do the cleaning" while I'm in college.
Oh, yeah. This is called Bubba J's College Daze, so I guess I should tell you, I'm in college going for a BA in Engineering. More on that later. Right now, I've gotta go, I've got something baking in the oven, and I don't want it to fall!
Shut up. I'm a man, I tell ya!
I really am, too. I have some soapy stuff in the toilet, soaking the ring off, so it counts as me cleaning. We have really hard water here, so every week, it's scrub, scrub, scrub. I use a pumice stone on the ring in the toilet. Gloves, too, of course. And you should see the shower doors! Oy-vey! No, not the really-easy-to-hide-water-spots-opaque kind. Nooooooo, they had to put in crystal-clear glass. Thanks. We've tried everything on the market, even orange G00p hand cleaner (which, yes, makes the water bead up nicely, but didn't remove any water spots). Best thing we've come up with is mixing 1 qt. of lemon scented ammonia, 1 cup vinegar, and 1/4 cup Dawn dishwashing detergent. Mix it up, pour it in a good spray bottle, squirt it on a dry shower door, and let it soak for about 20 minutes. Then, use a scrubby sponge with some Bar Keepers Friend cleanser on it, and scrub like crazy. Last step, take off all your clothes, take a shower, and while you're at it, rinse off the doors real good. If you want to add another step, go over it once with Windex after all that, and it stays pretty clean for...oh...about a week! I squeegee every day, too! Oh, the suffering of a kept husband. Yes, I'm a HouseHusband. My wife brings home the bacon, as it were. It doesn't make me less of a man!
I guess that's what I get for volunteering to "do the cleaning" while I'm in college.
Oh, yeah. This is called Bubba J's College Daze, so I guess I should tell you, I'm in college going for a BA in Engineering. More on that later. Right now, I've gotta go, I've got something baking in the oven, and I don't want it to fall!
Shut up. I'm a man, I tell ya!
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